Taking Criticism

When I was a player I hated to be criticized, because I thought it meant I wasn't any good--that I was failure. Now I have learned not to take criticism personally; it doesn't have anything to do with me as a person. I am still a worthy and good individual; however, I might need improvements in some areas. This is the lesson I want my players to recognize. It will save them years of pain and self condemnation.

I am happy to report my lone senior, Katy Arick, has learned this lesson well. Even though we begin every year telling our players constructive criticism is necessary, many of them fall apart when we begin to criticize their skills. They have to accept we care enough about them to want them to be better. They have to start with the inner awareness we are here to assist them to become the best they can become. We cannot do this by allowing them to continue making mistake after mistake after mistake.

When Katy first began playing for us, she could easily tear up when we demanded her to be better. Now, after three seasons of understanding why we criticize, she is able to handle our demands from a place of inner strength and confidence.

Last Saturday during our game, we had a twenty point lead early in the second half only to see it dwindle quickly to six points. We were in a situation where we needed to score. Katy was struggling with her shot, missing open opportunities which she normally made. After missing back to back shots in early offense, I took her out of the game, sat her down and told her in a not so gentle manner to stop shooting the ball. She needed to play good defense, be a screener and a passer and go get the rebound.

I didn't curse at her, nor did I use any demeaning language about her person, but I was very firm in what I told her she must do. A younger player with less self awareness might have inwardly crumbled not hearing my intent. A younger player might have heard I didn't believe in her, she was a bad shooter, she couldn't play in stressful situations, etc. BUT Katy didn't hear that. She heard my message and knew what she needed to do to help us win.

After only a minute of sitting on the bench, I put her back in the game where she dutifully did exactly as I had requested. The only shots she shot for the rest of the game were free throws which she made. She screened. She rebounded. She passed. She was the ultimate team player.

Katy has learned she is still a great player but there are times when she must do what is best for the team. She didn't take my criticism personally; instead she understood my intent, used the strengths she possessed for that particular time period and helped us win.

I couldn't be more proud of her.