Creating Masterpieces From Catastrophes

Last Wednesday I was the speaker at the Lions Club here in Charleston. My topic was "Creating Masterpieces From Catastrophes." From my blog last week you would know I don't really believe in catastrophes--only opportunities. As always, it is far easier to speak these words than to practice them.

There were six points I presented at the meeting:
1. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Give your best and forget the rest.
4. Think of every "crisis" as opportunity.
5. Make laughter a part of every day. Find reasons to smile.
6. Look for and accept your "angels" meaning those people who come into your life as mentors and teachers.

I was pretty proud of the words I had presented. They sounded positive and strong rolling off my tongue. Then a couple of days later I had to practice what I had preached.

It is far, far easier to say the words than live them!

Before our first practice on Friday, one of our players quit without any rhyme or reason. She was a phenomenal player with an incredible future ahead of her. It is a longer story than I have time for here, but suffice it to say we had invested much effort into getting her into school, going to classes and feeling a part of the team.

We could have been devastated, angry and vengeful. We could have wasted a lot of energy into those emotions which would have taken us the wrong direction. I will not say it was easy to simply drop her and go forward. I was hurt by her abandonment of the team who had given so generously to her and who had loved her. I was mad she broke her promise to me to finish this season. I was upset she had blown this opportunity to move forward in her life.

Yet I knew this event was a lesson, a gift and an opportunity for us. Although it wasn't clear exactly how this was going to help us, I knew from experience this was going to make us stronger and better.

We presented her departure as a small, matter-of-fact event and went forward with our training. A couple of days later, Tiana Beatty said to me, "Her quitting is a great omen. The last time she quit, we got to the national tournament and won our first game. This time we are going all the way."

I couldn't have received a better gift.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

Trouble in Paradise???

Did the subject line get you interested? If you are a parent, did you fear this was about your daughter? Were you eager to hear the "bad" news?

Oops. I lied. I just wanted to grab your attention. There is no trouble here--only opportunities for growth. For certain there are lessons to be learned, but I don't view those as trouble.

We might have a few instances where players "forget" to go to class or struggle with turning in their assignments on time. In these instances, we gently prod them to do what is right. By gentle prodding, I mean making their teammates run more on conditioning days or maybe even kicking them out of practice until they come to the awareness school is important. (You might be wondering if this is gentle what the hard stuff is, but I'll save that for another blog.)

Last week we had a player who temporarily lost her notebook and didn't have her journal answers prepared on time. She bargained with me to not make the team run because of her failure. When she offered to run 10 suicides if I wouldn't make the team run additional sprints, I agreed. I'm not certain she was happy I so quickly agreed with her offer, and I don't know if she learned not to lose her notebook or if her lesson included never offering to run 10 suicides for her teammates. I'd prefer she learned not to lose her notebook.

My view is every day is an opportunity for the players to get better and to discover something about themselves. I don't believe there are mistakes. Mistakes are chances to get better, to expand, to listen and to learn. So when a player comes to me who has experienced a mistake, I want to know what they have learned. It does not mean they are free from consequences for their actions, but I am interested if they have grown to a new level.

We had some players who made poor decisions over the weekend. Since it was over the weekend, you might be able to guess what those decisions involved. I can remember when I was a student-athlete and had a few poor decision-making weekends. Fortunately, I paid for them which made me learn how to make better choices. I am hoping that the 30 minute butt-breaking workout I put them through on Tuesday will enlighten them. If not, the next lesson will be tougher.

Some people learn lessons slower than others. For those people the consequences become tougher each time. The important thing I want them to learn is to admit their mistakes, be willing to grow from them, and finally to forgive themselves. After suffering a consequence the continual beating up of self serves no purpose. Forgiveness allows them to go forward with confidence and clarity.

Is there trouble in paradise? Never. There is only opportunity.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

New Found Wisdom

Last week as we were doing our positive circle which is a an opportunity for each player to share something positive, I asked what they had learned since the beginning of the year. We took turns sharing our positive thoughts for the day.

Not many players loved what I said during my turn. I said, "I have learned players can be pushed further than I believed." While I thought this was an incredible new awareness, I found when the players groaned they were not necessarily aligned with my new found wisdom.

Pushing players is what coaches are supposed to do. It is our best way of making players expand who they are. So many of the young women I coach box themselves into a small space where they are guided by the thoughts "I can only do this or that." Such silly thoughts.

Yesterday the players ran 18's which is a little sprint set where the players build up from one to two to three to four court lengths and so on until they reach eight sprints then they reverse the order and come back down the ladder. I suppose it wouldn't have been as difficult without the clock and the times we had arranged for them. It was the all out sprint which created problems.

I can always tell when something is difficult when players start hitting the wall. This is when the asthma kicks in, players hyperventilate, cramps occupy their calves, a hamstring is strained and their legs are wobbling so hard they have difficulty standing up.

Since nobody passed out and Lindsey Kentner and Ali Tobias were still running, I assumed all was well. When these two get tired, I know I have made the workout too hard.

Five players out of 15 made the times for all the sprints. This is what I wanted--making the workout challenging enough that players had to go all out and risk everything to make the times. It is the risk I want--the heart, the drive, the ability to reach inside and pull something more out of themselves.

I want them to be willing to risk it all on the court, to leave their hearts and minds there. To be so exposed as to feel vulnerable yet to know that by risking they can receive the greatest of all gifts--becoming the very best they can become.

Even though not all of them made their times, they pushed themselves. They tried with every ounce of their beings. This was success and I was pleased.

While they are counting down then number of days until official team workouts (October 15th), I am still thinking of ways to push them further. They will eventually love me for it even if right now that thought is far, far away from their minds.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

What Makes a Player Tough?

Every week we take a few minutes to ask our players a question. The question is often directed toward self-awareness in the hopes our players will take the time to listen to their internal voices. All personal development starts with self-awareness.

Last week I asked them to write their definition of mental toughness. There were some great definitions.

"The will and power to push past the doubt in a situation and believe that obstacles are mere challenges."

"The toughness in your mind when your body is past the point of exhaustion and your mind takes control and pushes you forward. It is also being able to move on to the next play with no reaction or thought."

"Mental toughness is staying calm in pressure situations, is getting up after you fall, and is adapting to any situation no matter the adversity."

"To me, mental toughness is when you have nothing left and you're fighting yourself and your mind to think and be positive. Also, it is not allowing anything negative to enter your mind."

After they had written their definitions, I asked them to rate themselves on a scale of one to five with one being the lowest and five being the highest. I was pleased the seniors all rated themselves as a four. A five rating would have been better but a four means they believe in themselves. The others . . . well they were not as confident. They still need to see themselves in a different light. They still need to believe they can achieve.

It is all a matter of the mind!

What I would like to see in each player is the ability to recognize their negative thoughts, to work on replacing them with positive thoughts and to know the power which comes with this process. Negative thoughts are limiting. They have no place for players who want to be mentally tough.

Negative thinkers expect the worst, place the blame on others, fail to trust themselves or others, take on a poor me attitude and cannot see they are responsible for creating what they are experiencing. Due to the way they think, they feel hopeless, worried, fearful, angry and frustrated.

Positive thinkers look for the best in all situations, seek solutions, seek help from others, know what they want and have a plan, and are willing and ready to receive inspiration. They find joy, happiness, success, achievement and fulfillment.

Mental toughness is not something players are born with; it is something they receive from their beliefs. The great thing is every player has the ability to control her mind. It is as simple and as complex as that.

Not one player who thinks she cannot do something ever achieves it. NOT ONE! This is the mind talking. This is controllable.

What I want from every player is her willingness to listen to what she tells herself, to stop the negative thoughts from getting in her way, and to replace them with positive thoughts. When she is able to do this, she is mentally tough and the court is hers to own.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

Active Rest Week

Last week as we pushed our players, provided a few necessary lessons about going to classes, and asked them to get tougher, I kept reminding them next week was active rest week. Our upper class players in full awareness of what was to come were able to push themselves through the challenges.

The freshmen on dead legs and bodies which were sore from toenails to the crown of their heads wanted to know what active rest week meant. Finally, Tiffany Scott, a rookie from Sylvania, OH, gave me the best definition I've ever heard. She said, "I was talking to my mom and telling her we had active rest week next week. She asked me what that meant. I told her I didn't know but everybody told me it was the best thing ever. It was just like Christmas!"

So this week according to Tiffany, we are on Christmas break. This is not exactly the truth. There are no presents involved, no holiday dinners and no festive activities. We are, however, giving the players an opportunity to recover, to allow their bodies a chance to rejuvenate and their minds a chance to catch up to what we've been teaching.

What are we doing this week? In place of running sprints and then running some more, we are playing games. Since NCAA rules don't allow us to have a basketball, we play ultimate frisbee, gator ball, Hungarian dodge ball, and other games which involve a lot of running.

The difference in training is really in their minds. There is not a clock or a timer, no extra punishments for not making the times; only a consequence of sprints for the losers. There is still running involved and sweat . . . lots of sweat.

In weight training, we change our P90X Plus routine and provide something a little less challenging. We don't want them to lose their edge they have gained by pushing them the past three weeks; we do want them to feel revitalized and eager to return to tougher practices.

What Tiffany doesn't know is when the players come back from "Christmas" we push them harder. I guess none of the upper class players explained that concept to her. Oops!

So next week we increase the number of sprints they run, decrease the amount of time they run them in, and we push harder in individual practices. I'm not certain what the upper class players call this week and I probably don't want to know.

Hopefully they enjoy the holiday this week while preparing their minds and bodies for the challenges to come.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

Getting Tough With P90X

A few years ago I was sick and unable to get out of bed, running a high fever with chills and aches all over my body. Since I am not a television junkie and, in fact, not a person who likes to be still for longer than 25 minutes, the illness was driving me crazy. I needed to move even when going to the bathroom five steps away was enough to completely exhaust me.

Lying in bed, mindlessly watching game shows and old movies, I found an infomercial for P90X which is an extreme workout. So I watched and visualized myself working out, and then when I was getting better and my thoughts became more rational, I realized it was my players who should be getting the benefit of an extreme workout. Right then and there I purchased the entire P90X package.

In fact, not only do I have the original series, I actually have all of Tony Horton's workouts which by the way the Golden Eagles have come to love. Well . . . not all of them. In fact, I'm pretty certain the newcomers are not very fond of P90X. It is the way they shake and nearly pass out which makes me think this. Upon further review, maybe it is just the coaching staff who loves the workouts.

What I love about the workouts is how much they challenge the players. Who wouldn't want to try to do a combination of lat pulls and push-ups for two minutes? Who wouldn't want to do a lunge while executing a bicep curl or a tricep hammer curl? Who wouldn't want to do a combat push-up for a minute and a half? Who wouldn't want to go from one challenging exercise to another with only a 20 second rest?

The problem I've found is not the exercise; it is the puddle of sweat accumulating at the players' feet. This puddle seems to grow in size and depth until the sweat has formed a miniature swimming pool. With the sweat pool all around them, their hands tend to slip during push-ups and their feet slide every which direction. If they wouldn't sweat so much I'm certain the exercises would be easier.

While I understand P90X is probably not sport specific for basketball; it is a mental toughness workout. When players can go through a 40 minute workout with only two 30 second breaks, continue through an exercise when their breaths are pounding in their chests and their muscles are next door to total exhaustion, then I know they will be able to talk themselves through a double overtime, a week with three games in it and a long road trip.

If the P90X is not enough, we manage to do a little 40 minute conditioning workout before hitting the weights. Our goal here is simple enough: we want the players to sprint so hard they feel their heartbeats in their toes. If they are able to stand up and walk easily out of the gym after a conditioning workout, we have failed to make them better. Somebody should be on the floor unable to move, struggling for breath and praying thankfully that sprints are over for the day.

Preseason is about mental toughness and mental toughness is what the game is. If we can succeed in creating the right mental attitude now, the games we play will be so much easier.

I believe we are on the right path. I love the heart, the desire and the passion and I love TONY HORTON and P90X.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

There are memorable moments every preseason--moments where athletes push past their self imposed limits, where they gain muscle and watch with wondering eyes in the mirror as biceps bulge, where sweat is left in puddles at their feet as they run past the final line in suicides, and when a leader is formed by a moment of pure passion.

While I could write about any of the above with a certain amount of awe and pride, I want to share with you the moment when a leader was born.

Last week as we were running timed suicides, the players kept forgetting to touch the lines. We believe every line should be touched because it is a sign of doing the little things right. We can't allow small things to slip. Small things become larger events and we want our players to live up to high expectations.

With each misstep, the players suffered a consequence of a minute of planks or a minute of boats. Both of these exercises are tough enough on their own but within the confines of fatigue, they become much harder. Holding a plank after sprinting all out feels like having an elephant sit on your back as you hold yourself completely level on a horizontal plane.

We had gone through about seven of these when Lindsey Kentner decided enough was enough. Before I continue with this tale, you should know a little bit of history about Ms. Kentner. She is a level-headed, intelligent and calm player who in the midst of the greatest game will never blink an eye. She is not one to cheer or pound her chest or do cartwheels even after she makes the most impossible of shots. She just shoulder shrugs and sighs as if this is an every day experience.

In fact, prior to this moment I am about to divulge I don't believe I ever witnessed more of an emotion than a slight smile curling on the edge of her lips. Oh, there was the one time when she mildly raised a fist in the air after hitting the game-winning three point shot. That was an extreme display of emotion for her.

Then the improbable happened. She exploded. She ranted and raved. She told her teammates in the most passionate tone that their behaviors were simply unacceptable. It was not the single curse word she let slip which made her point; it was her passion. She didn't just want her teammates to come up to the next level; she implored them to get there. NOW.

It was beautiful--such an act outside of who she was that I almost called practice right then and there. She had to reach so deep inside herself, to touch a place where she never went to get there. This is what we want from our players--to reach out and touch a place inside themselves they didn't know existed. This is growth. This is expansion. This is success.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.