The Cool Coach

I must be losing my touch--the coaching touch that is. A couple of weeks ago when we were doing a positive circle and each team member was instructed to say something positive about the person on her right, I was told by Julianne I was cool this year. I had to check her face to see if cool actually meant good or if it was some meaning I had not yet deciphered. Sometimes with younger people I get lost in the lingo. Words change meaning with them as they tend to use their own interpretation of definitions. So once I determined cool actually meant good, I wasn't certain how to react. I've been called many things in my 21 years of coaching but I sincerely doubt I've ever been called cool.

What does this mean--being a cool coach? Have I been too nice? Too easy? Is my intensity waning? Have I forgotten how to push? Am I getting soft? Are practices not challenging?

I've always known it should be more important to a coach to be respected than to be liked. Being liked in the coaching world almost has a nasty connotation associated with it. It means you are being friends with the players; you don't know how to discipline; you can't draw the line in tough scenarios; and of course, you don't have your players' respect.

So I had to take a deep breath on this "cool" factor. I had to examine who I had become and if it was okay to be known as cool. After several hours of reflecting upon it, I decided I was indeed a different individual than I was years ago or perhaps even last year. I believe there was a time when I confused fear with respect meaning I thought if players feared me, then I had their respect. I no longer believe that. Respect comes from being organized and prepared, knowing how to coach, showing respect for others, being able to accept criticism, and coaching from a center of compassion. Perhaps I am not as hard-nosed, but I am still demanding and intense focused on getting the best I can from players.

I'm not certain if I am truly qualified to be a cool coach, but I am okay with the players believing I am if it makes them play better. If it doesn't make them play better, then I guess I won't get to hold the cool status.