A Little Blip

Last week the Golden Eagles had a blip, a blot, an out-of-sorts kind of week. We were grouchy, slow to react, unwilling to listen to one another, full of excuses, blaming somebody else for our inadequacies and all around not playing together. It was rather nasty--not a week for singing positive praises about our team.

This lack of unity is not unusual. In fact, it is a normal phase of coming together. When a group comes together, there are times of laughter, fun and enjoyment and there are also times of jealousy, anger and blaming. What determines a team is not this time of "storming" but how we decide to deal with it. We could have chosen to leave it alone and pretend it wasn't there or we could have continued on the path of pointing fingers. What we chose instead was to find a way through our issues to gain the cohesiveness of a unit.

Saturday, rather than practicing on the court, we sat together in a circle with the instruction for each individual to write down three ways in which she contributed to our current state of affairs. We then went around the circle one at a time and shared our faults. No person was allowed to comment, judge or state anything after somebody had shared with the team.

Amazingly I found the players to be rather astute in their perceptions of what they needed to do in order to exert some control over what was occurring. One player said she needed to lead without fear of what her teammates would think about her. Another said she should voice her opinion when a teammate said something negative she didn't agree with rather than simply siding with her. One said she didn't need to bring her bad day with her on the court. Several of them stated they needed to be more vocal and show more enthusiasm when practicing.

When we had completed that exercise, we tore up our sheets of paper and threw them in the waste basket acknowledging we had dealt with our issues and they were no longer with us. Then we went around the group 10 times with each person stating something positive she did to help the team either on or off the court. No repeats of what another person had mentioned were allowed. At first, the Eagles were worried about the no repeat rule but they soon discovered how easy it was to find the positives. After 130 positive comments, we were well on our way to healing the experiences of our past week and moving toward the unity we needed to be successful.

When members of a team are willing to come together and share their faults, to admit their need for improvement, to take a part of the blame for what is occurring, then they can find the strength they need to defeat opponents.

To all the Golden Eagles for their willingness to work through our conflicts, I say: IHHOAGE!