Burning The Ships

Before every game I always provide the team with a small five minute motivational talk. Most of the time these chats are small stories I have read or heard. Last night as I was contemplating what words would inspire the team for the first game of the season, I rambled through many stories. The one that stuck was the burning of the ships.

A captain was in a war and he had taken his troops across the ocean to a battle they much needed to win. He knew if they lost this battle, they would probably lose the war. Once his men had gotten off the ships and safely to the land, he order his men to burn the ships. He told them there was no going back, no retreat. There was only the possibility of winning or dying.

I don't believe for a moment a game is between winning or dying, but it should be played with the idea of no retreat. There should be no looking back, no thought of a way out of the battle before the team. If we knew we would either die or win, how would we play? Would we not play with urgency and passion?

This is what I asked of the team: to play with determination, heart, a deep love and trust in themselves and the team.

THEY DID.

We needed to change the way we have played defense in the past. We were not aggressive enough. We were looking to detain not destroy. We needed to determine for our opponents what they were going to do, not allow them to create as they wished.

Last night was the first step in changing our attitudes. We played with the idea of going forward and creating what we wanted. If we can only play like this every night--play as if there was only one option--we would win every game.

I want them to keep this vision of the burning ships, see it in their dreams, smell the smoke of the dying embers, and hear the water gushing around the hulls. I want them to keep the resolve, the fortitude, and the fierceness of believing in the necessity of winning.

I don't want to make winning everything, and I won't burn the vans as we enter the gymnasium. I do want to make the will to win important, because it is. It is the essence of success not only on the court but in all they will do in life. I want them to know they can.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

Forgetful Coach

When I was in training for the Olympics, we trained year around two times a day six days a week. No, this is not a story like the ones your parents told you about walking six miles in the snow, uphill both ways to get to school. This is a true tale.

So, when I train the Golden Eagles I think they should be able to tolerate a couple of two-a-days. They are young and fit and recover fast. They should be capable of handling a couple of days of practice where the days consist of getting up, going to practice, taking a nap and practicing again.

The problem occurs when I forget how intense I am. I tend to push a little bit. Okay, so maybe I push more than a little; maybe it is a lot. Then I forget how I ask them to think while they practice. It is one thing to just run up and down the court, but it is quite another to have to engage your brain every second of the practice.

Monday night after having two practices on Saturday and two on Sunday, I noticed how their brains had quit functioning. It is the first sign of weariness. The second is uncontrollable laughter. We had both symptoms on Monday night.

Imagine being a coach and spending fifteen minutes working on a skill, breaking it down into small portions, explaining why we do something a certain way, and then in the next drill expecting them to take what was learned and apply it into a faster, more complex drill. On paper this seems fairly reasonable, but when we moved from one drill to the next, they looked at me, squinting with that look of confusion as if the language I was speaking was in a tongue most foreign to their knowledge.

Then on top of that, imagine Shannon skipping to her next position on the court and everybody toppling over in laughter. It was cute, perhaps even deserving a chuckle, but a falling down, tears-down-the-cheeks laugh, is a little far reaching. When Lisanne tripped over her two feet, I thought we were going to have to resuscitate Chrissy who was curled in a fetal position on the court.

It was not a pretty practice.

I gave them Tuesday night off believing after 24 hours of recovery, they would return with rested legs and brains. In the middle of Wednesday's practice as they were struggling with the most mundane of skill work, I asked them if they were tired. I even quantified the question by telling them it was not a trick question. I understand players are often afraid of admitting to being fatigue. When they told me they were okay, I responded by yelling at them to get after it.

This was when I knew they were not okay. They were physically trying to pick up their intensity. Their faces showed their determination but their legs and minds would simply not obey.

Later when I asked them why they didn't tell me they were tired, they all said they thought it was a trick question. I am not like the coach who asked if his players were tired and when they said they were tired, he said, "Well, you are not in good enough shape. Let's run some more." After a while, he asked them again, "Are you tired?" When they responded no, he said, "Well, you haven't worked hard enough. Let's run some more."

I am not that coach, BUT I am the coach who forgets how demanding I am and the one who forgets to cut back practice time. I forget we do more in two hours than most teams do in four. I forget how hard I ask them to go every drill.

Bless their hearts that they keep trying to give even when their legs are too weary to move and their brains can't keep signals straight. Bless them that they will forgive this forgetful coach.

ONE HEART! ONE DREAM!

Feeling Better But Not Taking Any Excuses

After our second scrimmage, I was able to calm down a bit. Just a week ago, I was on a rampage seeking out the competitive nature of the team. I felt I had to reach down inside their chests and pull it out of them. I was exhausted from the strain of pulling and I'm certain they were pooped out from having to give more than they believed they had.

While we didn't perform awesome in our second scrimmage, we did manage to look better and to compete. This was what I wanted--passion. I wanted to see it on their faces and feel it coming out of their pores. I wanted to smell it on their breaths and hear it in their voices.

I know this: if we will compete as if our hearts would break in half without the victory then we will win games. If it means so much to them they will go outside of who they are to play, then we will be champions.

Often times they want to tell me this is not who they are as if that excuse will mean something to me. I see it for what it is--an excuse not to be better. If they tell me they cannot shoot outside, then I tell them to work on their shot. They can shoot outside if they practice it. If they tell me they are not fast enough, I tell them they are smart enough to appear fast. If they tell me it is not in their nature to talk loudly on the court, I tell them then winning doesn't mean enough to them to change.

I believe they can do whatever it is they really want to do IF they get rid of their fear about it. They fear failure too much. If they have an excuse, then they can rationalize why they can't get it done. If I don't accept excuses, then they must face themselves. This is scary!

Cruel aren't I?

I've seen players get outside of themselves to become amazing. Two years ago, we had a player named Kika Carman, a quiet person who barely spoke loud enough for us to hear her when standing right next to her. When she was a freshman, we always had to ask her to speak up during positive circles. Nobody could hear what she said. By the time she was a senior, she was a no-nonsense captain who told teammates what they needed to do, when they needed to do it and how. She wanted to win. Her leadership took us to a 26-7 record.

So, no I don't accept their excuses. I know they all can be better than the players I see today on the court. I've seen others come before them who became more. They can too.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

Coach Gone MAD?

I've worked diligently over the past few years to get rid of my anger. I've read books, processed past experiences, discussed my history and spent time in meditation and prayer. I've felt a lightness in my heart and joy on my tongue for several months UNTIL our first scrimmage game.

While we have been known to play poorly early in the season, I was distraught over the lack of competitiveness shown in the scrimmage. Passion is something which I know must exist in order for teams to win. There is no substitute for wanting to win and be willing to put everything on the court in order to do so.

After watching the game footage, I seethed for several hours and allowed the anger to stew and get nice and hot. When practice time came, I was ready to let the team know what my expectations were.

Imagine after all the positive words, all the time spent encouraging that some wild maniac shows up for practice.

Don't worry parents. There was no abuse. No balls thrown at your daughters. No words said which weren't carefully chosen to make them become better. There was some spittle coming off my lips, a few veins popping out of my neck, a red hue covering cheeks and throat, and then, there was fire coming right out of my eyes, but nothing which could have caused physical harm.

The problem is this: they are much better than what they showed. They needed to break through their ideas about what they could and could not do. Using anger to get them to move past their limitations isn't my chosen path. I'd prefer just to ask and to watch them grow.

I have learned, though, anger used in the right manner can produce positive results. It is not something to be utilized daily, and it should not be the corner stone of our practice time. Monday, though, it was what was needed.

After I threw my temper tantrum, a qualified two year old's fit, they responded. Ali penetrated to the basket and scored. Tiana picked up her on-the-ball defense. Lindsey became more aggressive on offense looking for her shot. Tarenna decided she could become a scorer outside the paint, and Mo showed her rebounding capabilities.

I, on the other hand, got totally worn out. Exhausted. Pooped right down to my little toe. This mad coach stuff is hard on the heart and the body. Hopefully, I won't have to go back to it this season, but I will if it is needed. They need to know they can become awesome and if it takes me getting out of my comfort zone to make them get out of theirs, then that is what I will do.

I just hope it is not too often. Let us hope our next scrimmage is more promising.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

Creating Masterpieces From Catastrophes

Last Wednesday I was the speaker at the Lions Club here in Charleston. My topic was "Creating Masterpieces From Catastrophes." From my blog last week you would know I don't really believe in catastrophes--only opportunities. As always, it is far easier to speak these words than to practice them.

There were six points I presented at the meeting:
1. When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.
2. Don't take anything personally.
3. Give your best and forget the rest.
4. Think of every "crisis" as opportunity.
5. Make laughter a part of every day. Find reasons to smile.
6. Look for and accept your "angels" meaning those people who come into your life as mentors and teachers.

I was pretty proud of the words I had presented. They sounded positive and strong rolling off my tongue. Then a couple of days later I had to practice what I had preached.

It is far, far easier to say the words than live them!

Before our first practice on Friday, one of our players quit without any rhyme or reason. She was a phenomenal player with an incredible future ahead of her. It is a longer story than I have time for here, but suffice it to say we had invested much effort into getting her into school, going to classes and feeling a part of the team.

We could have been devastated, angry and vengeful. We could have wasted a lot of energy into those emotions which would have taken us the wrong direction. I will not say it was easy to simply drop her and go forward. I was hurt by her abandonment of the team who had given so generously to her and who had loved her. I was mad she broke her promise to me to finish this season. I was upset she had blown this opportunity to move forward in her life.

Yet I knew this event was a lesson, a gift and an opportunity for us. Although it wasn't clear exactly how this was going to help us, I knew from experience this was going to make us stronger and better.

We presented her departure as a small, matter-of-fact event and went forward with our training. A couple of days later, Tiana Beatty said to me, "Her quitting is a great omen. The last time she quit, we got to the national tournament and won our first game. This time we are going all the way."

I couldn't have received a better gift.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

Trouble in Paradise???

Did the subject line get you interested? If you are a parent, did you fear this was about your daughter? Were you eager to hear the "bad" news?

Oops. I lied. I just wanted to grab your attention. There is no trouble here--only opportunities for growth. For certain there are lessons to be learned, but I don't view those as trouble.

We might have a few instances where players "forget" to go to class or struggle with turning in their assignments on time. In these instances, we gently prod them to do what is right. By gentle prodding, I mean making their teammates run more on conditioning days or maybe even kicking them out of practice until they come to the awareness school is important. (You might be wondering if this is gentle what the hard stuff is, but I'll save that for another blog.)

Last week we had a player who temporarily lost her notebook and didn't have her journal answers prepared on time. She bargained with me to not make the team run because of her failure. When she offered to run 10 suicides if I wouldn't make the team run additional sprints, I agreed. I'm not certain she was happy I so quickly agreed with her offer, and I don't know if she learned not to lose her notebook or if her lesson included never offering to run 10 suicides for her teammates. I'd prefer she learned not to lose her notebook.

My view is every day is an opportunity for the players to get better and to discover something about themselves. I don't believe there are mistakes. Mistakes are chances to get better, to expand, to listen and to learn. So when a player comes to me who has experienced a mistake, I want to know what they have learned. It does not mean they are free from consequences for their actions, but I am interested if they have grown to a new level.

We had some players who made poor decisions over the weekend. Since it was over the weekend, you might be able to guess what those decisions involved. I can remember when I was a student-athlete and had a few poor decision-making weekends. Fortunately, I paid for them which made me learn how to make better choices. I am hoping that the 30 minute butt-breaking workout I put them through on Tuesday will enlighten them. If not, the next lesson will be tougher.

Some people learn lessons slower than others. For those people the consequences become tougher each time. The important thing I want them to learn is to admit their mistakes, be willing to grow from them, and finally to forgive themselves. After suffering a consequence the continual beating up of self serves no purpose. Forgiveness allows them to go forward with confidence and clarity.

Is there trouble in paradise? Never. There is only opportunity.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.

New Found Wisdom

Last week as we were doing our positive circle which is a an opportunity for each player to share something positive, I asked what they had learned since the beginning of the year. We took turns sharing our positive thoughts for the day.

Not many players loved what I said during my turn. I said, "I have learned players can be pushed further than I believed." While I thought this was an incredible new awareness, I found when the players groaned they were not necessarily aligned with my new found wisdom.

Pushing players is what coaches are supposed to do. It is our best way of making players expand who they are. So many of the young women I coach box themselves into a small space where they are guided by the thoughts "I can only do this or that." Such silly thoughts.

Yesterday the players ran 18's which is a little sprint set where the players build up from one to two to three to four court lengths and so on until they reach eight sprints then they reverse the order and come back down the ladder. I suppose it wouldn't have been as difficult without the clock and the times we had arranged for them. It was the all out sprint which created problems.

I can always tell when something is difficult when players start hitting the wall. This is when the asthma kicks in, players hyperventilate, cramps occupy their calves, a hamstring is strained and their legs are wobbling so hard they have difficulty standing up.

Since nobody passed out and Lindsey Kentner and Ali Tobias were still running, I assumed all was well. When these two get tired, I know I have made the workout too hard.

Five players out of 15 made the times for all the sprints. This is what I wanted--making the workout challenging enough that players had to go all out and risk everything to make the times. It is the risk I want--the heart, the drive, the ability to reach inside and pull something more out of themselves.

I want them to be willing to risk it all on the court, to leave their hearts and minds there. To be so exposed as to feel vulnerable yet to know that by risking they can receive the greatest of all gifts--becoming the very best they can become.

Even though not all of them made their times, they pushed themselves. They tried with every ounce of their beings. This was success and I was pleased.

While they are counting down then number of days until official team workouts (October 15th), I am still thinking of ways to push them further. They will eventually love me for it even if right now that thought is far, far away from their minds.

ONE HEART. ONE DREAM.